"Standing Tall" by http://kellyraeroberts.com/

my brain is going a million miles an hour

i just need one word to know you're ok

that we're ok

that the world will make sense again

soon.

please.

"By Inches" by Maya Stein

You want it here and now, a remedy for everything

gone wrong. A magic wand, perhaps, alighted

on your shoulders. An angel whispering

sweet nothings while you sleep so you wake benighted

with certainty that you are whole once again. You realize

your patience is diminishing, and yet what's required is the reverse.

This will not be some biblical miracle before your eyes,

a transformation of movie star proportions. No, healing is a slow nurse,

pausing bedside with drips of water, a hot cloth, a murmur of a touch.

By inches, a change sneaks into you, even if it doesn’t look like much.

heavy heart

puffy eyes

keeping faith

praying more than usual

...this about sums the week up so far.
I think I need a pause button for my brain.

breathe in calm

breathe out worry

breathe in peace

breathe out worry

Brooke, one of my best friends, is an incredible photographer. I am always impressed by her work.

I think she truly caught me in a state of bliss here. It's nice to see. Thanks Brooke. <3

The time change has been making me feel weird. When the sun goes down close to 6:00 and it's pitch black by 7:00, I don't want to leave my apartment. Usually I'm a very active individual but I think it's the darkness and being semi-sick for the past few weeks and letting my brain go on overdrive that's making me want to curl up in bed and never come out again. Even hanging out with people seems like a chore and that concerns me. Hopefully this seasonal depression thing passes soon because us Michiganders have a long winter ahead.

It's beautiful out right now - the sun is shinning! Maybe I just need a mental health day and a good cry? I think I'm also realizing how different my life has become in the past few years even though I'm the most stable I have ever been - same town, same job(s), same apartment. Friends and relationships are changing and it scares me. I'm lucky though... I have some of the best people in my life that will always be there for me, and for that, I am blessed.

I need to come up with a good mechanism or list to take hold of when this seasonal stuff hits, a plan of attack to make things better. I'll keep my brain going.

I've been trying my hand at cooking lately. It's been my goal to gather simpler recipes that are both gluten free and dairy free and make them! Living alone doesn't give me much motivation to cook big meals for myself (because I would be happy just to eat cereal every night), but making meals for my boyfriend when he gets out of work is exciting and adds an extra challenge to my day.

Last night I made this (but substituted tofu for the sweet potatoes): http://www.vegetariantimes.com/recipes/10263?section

I don't know how my mom did it every night for our family, and that will never be me, but I'm excited at the process I'm making.